There Is
by sevendollargirlscout
Summary: Songfic from the POV of Angelina. About saying goodbye, letting go, and falling in love! **FINISHED**


**Disclaimer:** The characters do not belong to me! They are the property of JK Rowling and I don't claim ownership or anything like that.  The song is "There Is" by Boxcar Racer and I don't claim to own their lyrics either, though I am using them without permission….

She stepped off of the Hogwarts Express, knowing that this would be the last time. This time next year, she would be off somewhere, being what she dreaded…an **adult.  She looked around Kings Cross, at all the families hugging each other, happy to be home.  As usual, there was no one there for her.  Her eyes stopped on the Weasley family, specifically on Fred. He didn't see her, thank Merlin, but he was smiling and happy. He had been gone for too long, and she felt empty, alone, hurt.  Her last words hadn't been the right ones. But she wasn't strong enough to change them now. She saw a taxi drive past, and then another one. She raised one hand, almost saluting, to hail it. When it stopped, she drug her small trunk over and placed it in the backseat. Then, with one last fleeting glance at the one person who had cared about her…she stepped into the cab.**

_This vacation's useless  
These white pills aren't kind  
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive  
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9  
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights_

As the cab drove away, she pressed one hand to the glass, looking out. It hurt more that way, driving away from him. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and wiped it away roughly.  She willed herself not to cry, because crying solves nothing.  He looked in the direction of the cab for a moment, and smiled.  She looked away, she couldn't smile back.  She couldn't bear to look at him, to see his eyes.

  
_I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have  
The days have come and gone  
Our lives went by so fast  
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor  
Where i laid and told you, but you'd swear you loved me more_  
  


On the ride back to her apartment, just outside of London, she leaned against the interior of the cab, not sure whether or not she should cry or laugh, die or live.  She looked down at her hands, feeling vulnerable and useless…and she didn't like those feelings.  She remembered faintly the day before his last match. They had stayed up together all night. He had kissed her. He had loved her. And…she hadn't choked. She had said she loved him too. But now, that was all gone. 

  
_Do you care if i don't know what to say  
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me  
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay  
That there someone out there who feels just like me  
There is_

She reached her apartment after dark and she dragged her trunk up the stairs to her door, and unlocked it. It was dark, and she was alone. She left her things at the front door, shutting it, and curling into a ball on the old sofa in the center of the living room.  Sitting there for a few minutes, she found that she couldn't cry. She couldn't speak. She could do nothing but stare out into empty space...and miss him.  She walked into the kitchen, looking at the stack of mail on the counter.  She sorted through it, finding nothing but bills and one letter. She brushed back her hair, and took the letter back to the couch. She tossed a blanket across her as she shakily opened the envelope._  
  
Those notes you wrote me  
I've kept them all  
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall  
With every single letter and every single word  
There will be a hidden message about a boy who  
loves a girl  
  
_

Reading the letter, she nearly cried.  It was from him.  He didn't hate her after all. He still cared for her.  She felt the tears rolling down her face, and this time, she did nothing to stop them.  She was filled with nothing, she felt nothing. She was so angry with herself. The last words she had said to him were bitter. And he still loved her. She didn't' feel like she deserved it.

_  
Do you care if i don't know what to say  
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me  
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay   
that There's someone out there who feels just like me  
There is  
  
_

She sat alone, in the dark, staring at the ceiling, and wishing she could do something, anything to see him again.  But she couldn't. She had to let him go.  She reached on the table in front of her for her photo album. It had been a gift…from him.  The first page she saw had a picture of the Quidditch team. She smiled through her tears as the image moved in front of her.  Angelina was standing between the two twins and Fred had his arm around her. She turned the page, but was startled by a knock at the door.  She sat the photo album back on the table and wiped at her eyes.  Then, she walked over to the door and swung it open, not bothering to look through the peephole.

_  
Do you care if i don't know what to say?  
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me  
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay   
That there's someone out there who feels just like me_

A hand caught the door, then the owner of the hand walked into her visual range.  He looked at her, his eyes bright and alive, not dull as hers had become.  Her eyes met his, then she looked away. She felt defeated, broken, and most of all, alone.  He stepped into the doorway, touching her arm, tentatively. She pulled away, trembling.  But he wouldn't let her. He wrapped his arms around her, and she could do nothing but try to hold back the tears.  She looked up and into his eyes, wanting to say something so badly, but feeling the words caught in her throat.  Saying nothing, she disengaged herself from him and went back to the couch, wrapping herself in the familiar blanket. He followed, sitting next to her, still holding her._  
  
Do you care if i don't know what to say?  
Will you sleep tonight will you think of me  
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay  
That there's someone out there who feels just like me  
There is_

She leaned on him, needing him, not wanting to be without him.  He stroked her hair, looking down at her, smiling.  She finally felt like she didn't need to cry, she didn't need to be upset, she felt…okay.  He looked down at her and she felt smaller than ever before, but in a good way. As though, if he came any closer she would be completely overcome by him.  

            "I love you." His words came out in a rush, just like the first time.  She blinked, her eyes losing their focus. She was unsure again, scared. She bit her lip, anticipating all the words she could say and how they wouldn't be **right.  So she didn't speak.  She leaned in, letting her lips touch his for one fleeting second, and then again. They were fire and ice, hers cold, and his warm. And finally, she felt alive.**


End file.
